Going through a divorce can be hard on both parents and children. Not only is there potential for conflict, but a divorce heralds big lifestyle changes for every member of a family.
While change is not always a bad thing, it can be especially hard for kids to adjust to life post-divorce. Fortunately, there are many steps that you can take as a parent to help make divorce easier on your children.
Keep Conflict Away From Kids, Establish Routine, Be Supportive
There are some factors that are out of your control when it comes to how your kids will react to your divorce, like your child’s age and personality. But, you do have a great deal of control over the circumstances of the separation and divorce process.
Almost inevitably your divorce will include some disagreement and conflict; keep visible conflict, heated discussions and legalese away from the kids. In addition, while you may have negative feelings about your former spouse or feel the need to assign blame for the divorce, do not express these thoughts in the home. Remember, your child will continue to have a relationship with your former spouse – injecting negativity into the situation can make children feel like referees, or cause them to feel like they have to choose sides.
Routine and a sense of stability are important to kids. As much as you can, keep your kids’ daily routine the same as it was. That being said, you also need to be honest and straightforward about any changes they will have to face. Telling kids simply that “everything will be great” without providing details can cause unnecessary apprehension.
While the divorce may have caused many hard feelings between you and your former spouse, you should give your former partner the opportunity to be involved in the kids’ lives. Studies consistently show that kids do better after a divorce when they continue to have a meaningful relationship with both parents.
Finally, the importance of being supportive and openly available to your children cannot be overstated. Assure your kids that the divorce is not their fault. Invite them to discuss their feelings with you, whatever those feelings may be. Tell your kids that it is normal for them to feel confused, angry or sad, but that no matter what happens you love them and will be there for them as a parent.
A Strong Divorce Settlement Can Help Head Off Conflict
Many of the things you can do for your children in the wake of your divorce stem simply from being a loving, supportive parent. But, all of your parental duties are easier if you have a well-structured, favorable divorce settlement agreement in place. Conflicts over where the kids will spend their holidays, who will handle travel arrangements and other parental duties can be avoided by executing a comprehensive settlement agreement.
To help your kids through divorce, you need to focus on being a good parent; to make your job easier, you need the direction provided by a thorough divorce settlement. Talk to an experienced Savage family law attorney today for more information on how to best handle the legal aspects of your divorce.